And he grows up and he grows up and he grows up...

Lil' bro James is off to be all he can be. Actually, I think that was an 80's Army slogan, not Air Force.

Two Fridays ago, James called me a few time in fairly quick succession, but I was knee deep in broken code at work & my project manager was looking over my shoulder, so I didn't answer. Finally, he sent me a "no really, this is actually an emergency..." text message. James was supposed to ship off for boot camp in December, but a week & a half ago, his recruiter called & said "hey, you wanna leave Monday? Yeah, really, like three days from now". One of the other recruits that was scheduled to leave this month missappeared, so James was offered his spot. He was pretty well set on going, but wanted my advice first. Of course, as much as I hated for him to leave so soon, I knew it was the best thing for him.

Of course my Jewish mother instincts are kicking in, & I'm worried sick about him. What if he doesn't make it through basic? What if he gets injured? What if the plane crashes on the way there? I'm sure he'll make it through, do very well, and that the plane won't crash. But I've never gone more than a few days without talking to my brother, and now we'll have nothing but infrequent letters for the next 7 weeks. After basic training, he'll go to tech school for 4 - 6 months, and after that, who knows which base he'll be on. So I had better get used to James being away.

My therapist once said that with Mum gone, I would need to take her role as the family matriarch, for my own emotional health & for the kids. After moving from Pennsylvania to South Carolina, Mum became the anchor of our odd blended family, and there has been a gaping hole left in the wake of her death. I've thought about the musings of my therapist a lot over the last few months. With James growing up & leaving the nest, and Jade turning into Miss Hormonal I Hate Everything Preteen, I am at a total loss as to how to be the family anchor. I'm barely used to Mum's absence, and now I have to deal with James being away as well. With the age differences between us, I've always been like a 2nd mom to James & Jade, so it warms my heart when they look to me for guidance, but it's hard to watch them face life's trials and grow up.

As difficult as it's been to let James go off into the big, bad world & lead his own adult life, I'm excited about the opportunities for my brother. I hope that he finds success & fulfillment, and most importantly, I hope he doesn't make the same mistakes his big sis' did.

P.S. If you can figure out the obscure movie reference above, you get an A.