Dear Bloggy

Well, I'm about to leave for a fun filled trip to visit family in Pennsylvania. My aunt has organized a memorial service there so that her family could have a service to attend. My Mum's family was noticeably absent at the service here. Of course, that was fine with me. My maternal grandmother can get very hysterical and was completely stressing me out, I probably would've lost it if she had come down. She has recurrent theories about the end of the world and all that mess, & that was coming out in full force. "If Vesta dies I'm going to die, I'll have a heart attack if I have to get on a plane & then it will crash..." Blah, blah, blah. I wasn't really in the mood to listen to it anymore. I know having your daughter die is traumatic, but please don't upstage the event with your craziness. And have some empathy for those of us that are by her side while it's happening. Oy vey.

After reaching levels of depression I never thought possible the week Mum died, I have managed to pull myself together somewhat. I guess I've just been so busy with making up a massive pile of school work that I haven't had time to dwell on my emotional troubles. There's been a few times that I've realized things, like "this is the day I usually call Mum & gab for an hour...", or "I always visit on Wednesdays". I guess I will always have those moments of realization. The week Mum died, I picked up some film I had dropped off before she went into the hospital & had forgotten about with all the choas. I didn't realize until I started flipping through the pictures that there were holiday photos on that roll. That's some of the last photos of Mum. She looked even more aged than ever, I was shocked.

On a lighter note, I'm one year older now & have a few more grey hairs. I spent my birthday weekend drinking in massive quantities (well, massive for me anyway), attending my mothers funeral, and having a fabulous party that evening. What an odd way to spend a birthday.

Wish me luck on my trip back home. Hopefully there won't be any family catastrophes while I'm there!